My Transplant: No Filter

My body was experiencing cellular upheaval after my transplant. Along with the mucositis and the pain meds, I was experiencing disturbing hallucinations because of all the opiates I was on. While hallucinating, I would say weird things out of the blue, often startling and confusing the hell out of those around me.

Fortunately my sister recorded some of what I said (I swear, I couldn't make any of these up if I tried):

One day, I turned to my sister and said very seriously, "Jessie, you have been chopped."

When the cleaning lady was cleaning my room, my sister helped me put on my mask, but I resisted, saying, "But it's just a phone!"

Sister said, "No, it's your mask. You have to wear it."

I said, "Did you talk to Mom?"

Sister said, "Yeah."

"Ok, good. I thought he stole her car."

"Who?"

"[Name of one of my nurses]... No, that doesn't make sense..."

This also happened:

Here are some other things I said that I can't explain:

"Drive safe! Be my valentine?"

"Drive safe! Be careful! Texting and driving is scar-dangerous!"

"Heeeey Boo Boo! I'm smarter than the average bear!"

"Used to hang out with all them!"

"Relaxing is an Olympic activity for me."

"My shoes are flying!"

"Who was just in here talking about mountains?"

After the transplant, I got multiple nose bleeds, so the nurses shoved sticks up my nose to stop the flow. One nose bleed would have just kept bleeding until I died because the treatment destroyed all my platelets, hence the need for nose tampons. Just imagine shoving a large popsicle stick up your nose until you think you'll jab your brain, and then imagine those sticks swelling up to the size of a heavy-sized tampon. It doesn't feel great.

But one occasion, my drug-adled mind thought I could handle a nose bleed myself: